Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dubious advice on baby names

anonymous I'm bored and trying to think of future names for my kids (saves me doing it in 10 years time). I'm looking for names that sound cool but aren't already stupidly popular and therefore boring, like Chloe.
What I have so far:
Male - Zenden, Sidney
Female - Paige, Cytherea




how about jayden or hunter or skyler you common suburb trash

I'd go with Zenden and Cytherea.
Mankind is sure to be colonizing space soon enough, and we'll need people with those names to go there.

Go for Sidney and Paige. The other names are just ridiculous.

Cytherea is annoying because it is 4 syllables, what would you shorten that to?

Why would you name your daughter after a woman who squirts copious amounts of fluid out of her vagina?

I like Dave.

Why would you name your daughter after a woman who squirts copious amounts of fluid out of her vagina?

OP here, I love her porn! But seriously by time my kid is 8 (at least 15 years from now) Cytherea the porn star will be long forgotten.

Naming your children stupid "unique" sh*t does not make them unique. They're still crying, sh*tting crotchfruit, just like the ones named "Michael" and "Emily."
...except they won't be able to get a job because of their retarded names.
Also, you'd name your daughter after a porn star (and no, the Greek goddess will NOT be the first thing people think of)? You're a monster.


OP here, I love her porn! But seriously by time my kid is 8 (at least 15 years from now) Cytherea the porn star will be long forgotten.

By the time your kid is 10 years old, wikipedia will still exist.

Cytherea is annoying because it is 4 syllables, what would you shorten that to?

Cy

if my wife and i ever conceive, we'll pretty surely name our kids circumstantially - as in - depending on how we feel at the time. I'm not giving any kid of mine a meaningless, cool or popular name just for the sake of it.
just saying

Everything old is new again OP. Go with something really classic like Gilgamesh, or Sargon.

Naming your children stupid "unique" sh*t does not make them unique. They're still crying, sh*tting crotchfruit, just like the ones named "Michael" and "Emily."
...except they won't be able to get a job because of their retarded names.
Also, you'd name your daughter after a porn star (and no, the Greek goddess will NOT be the first thing people think of)? You're a monster.

>implying kids 2 decades from now will know who Cytherea the pornographic actress is


Cy

Sh*t suck mannnn


>implying kids 2 decades from now will know who Cytherea the pornographic actress is

>Implying wikipedia and google won't exist 2 decades from now.
>Implying that other kids knowing is worse than the adults around the kid knowing.

Why don't you just be f**king unique, OP.
My parents gave me a great name, and I looked myself up and i am the ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY (USA) with my name...
AND I CAN STILL BE EMPLOYED,
AND I'm not named after a squirter.
Give your kids a chance to MAKE the name.
Winston Churchill made the name Winston f**king famous as sh*t, as did Jesus.
Give your kids a name they can make famous (Not michael/john/dave)

If I ever have a daughter I'm going to name her Hope. Because hope is my favorite word in the world and no matter how f**ked up everything get's in my life at least I'll still have hope. Assuming she does not become a crackwh**re, of course.
As for a boy, no clue.

Why don't you just be f**king unique, OP.
My parents gave me a great name, and I looked myself up and i am the ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY (USA) with my name...
AND I CAN STILL BE EMPLOYED,
AND I'm not named after a squirter.
Give your kids a chance to MAKE the name.
Winston Churchill made the name Winston f**king famous as sh*t, as did Jesus.
Give your kids a name they can make famous (Not michael/john/dave)

>Implying that "Winston" was a unique name in the time of Churchill.
>Implying Jesus existed (lolitrolu).
Okay, only take the first one seriously.

I thought Sidney was a girl's name. Never knew a guy named that.

Cool and unpopular name for girl: Venice or Venus, epic f**king win.

I thought Sidney was a girl's name. Never knew a guy named that.

Um, Sidney Poitier?
Oh, right, web doesn't care about black people (or culture in general). Or, you might not be American.
Long story short, Sidney was a male name before it became a unisex name (like most names, for example: Ashley, Morgan, Kelly, etc).

If I ever have a daughter I'm going to name her Hope. Because hope is my favorite word in the world and no matter how f**ked up everything get's in my life at least I'll still have hope. Assuming she does not become a crackwh**re, of course.
As for a boy, no clue.

I'm guessing you're a female.
You should know, if you marry a real man, he is going to name your children.
:-)
And only a dumb, stuck up, entitled, disney watching bitch would name her kid hope.
Why not just name my kid honor or courage?
It's f**king stupid.
A child is not a f**king trophy for you to bestow cutesy names and sh*t on. It's a living, breathing person, and you really shouldn't give it a name fit for a f**king poodle (hope).
HOPEfully your child doesn't have a dumb ass name...though it probably will.
Just name her Emily or Sarah. It's boring as f**k, but better than being a retard named Hope or Leslie.

Eli and Ella Rhodes.
I think they roll of the tongue quite nicely

Cool and unpopular name for girl: Venice or Venus, epic f**king win.

venus... do want, i may steal that

Ekimeninaba, Euphrates, or Carolan

Give him/her a common f**king name OP so they can buy the stupid novelty sh*t with their names on it. My wife had hippies for parents and they gave her a sh*tty name and she always gets bummed when we see name plates or some other stupid thing.

Chloe isn't stupidly popular. I have never met anyone named Chloe, ever, and I can't think of any famous people named Chloe, either. Where the f**k do you live, the International Center For People Named Chloe?

btw op, they have done studies that show that kids with stupid names grow up to be f**ked up people with a higher rate of incarceration, teen pregnancy, and unemployment.

Give him/her a common f**king name OP so they can buy the stupid novelty sh*t with their names on it. My wife had hippies for parents and they gave her a sh*tty name and she always gets bummed when we see name plates or some other stupid thing.

I can never find my name on sh*t either. In Myrtle Beach they have a store where they have a ton of that crap. If you can't find your name on anything, you win a "free pass" to the observation deck on top of the store. Whee.

Chloe isn't stupidly popular. I have never met anyone named Chloe, ever, and I can't think of any famous people named Chloe, either. Where the f**k do you live, the International Center For People Named Chloe?

Poitier poster here:
Um, Chloe Sevigny (sp?).
Actually, she's not that famous. You're right, there aren't that many people in the world named Chloe.
You, sir, get a pass.

btw op, they have done studies that show that kids with stupid names grow up to be f**ked up people with a higher rate of incarceration, teen pregnancy, and unemployment.

0/10, awful troll

gwendolyn man, f**k ya
go f**kin gaelic man, some names are sick

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/specials/babiesnames_girls.asp
chloe is 6th in my country, morons


0/10, awful troll

http://www.livescience.com/culture/090128-names-crime.html
derp

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/specials/babiesnames_girls.asp
chloe is 6th in my country, morons

"Evie"???? #10????
Wow, maybe the UK is more ass-backwards than I thought...
Nah, just trolling you, bro. But seriously, Chloe isn't a popular name here... no need to be a c**t about it.

if my wife and i ever conceive, we'll pretty surely name our kids circumstantially - as in - depending on how we feel at the time. I'm not giving any kid of mine a meaningless, cool or popular name just for the sake of it.
just saying

btw, i currently favour:
> MALE
Stephen
Jason
> FEMALE
Anne
Schat


http://www.livescience.com/culture/090128-names-crime.html
derp

OMG I guess everyone should names there kid James then, just to be safe.


I'm guessing you're a female.
You should know, if you marry a real man, he is going to name your children.
:-)
And only a dumb, stuck up, entitled, disney watching bitch would name her kid hope.
Why not just name my kid honor or courage?
It's f**king stupid.
A child is not a f**king trophy for you to bestow cutesy names and sh*t on. It's a living, breathing person, and you really shouldn't give it a name fit for a f**king poodle (hope).
HOPEfully your child doesn't have a dumb ass name...though it probably will.
Just name her Emily or Sarah. It's boring as f**k, but better than being a retard named Hope or Leslie.

Nope, I have a penis.
I've met people named Hope before, it's not THAT far out. Anyway, my name is John. I know, literally, dozens of people named John. If I ever have a kid I want them to not experience the confusion of having 6 people with the same name as you in one room. And I just like the way it sounds for some dumb reason.
I've heard stupider names before. I know a guy named Ulysses. Another kid I know is name Royal Highness.
I could do much worse then Hope.

I always liked Irish names. Brian, Donald, Sinead, Fionna, Connor, Eoghan, Mickey, Claire, Aeden, f**k even Seamus.


btw, i currently favour:
> MALE
Stephen
Jason
> FEMALE
Anne
Schat

Schat... how do you even pronounce that?


Schat... how do you even pronounce that?

it's Dutch. You probably couldn't pronounce it.

If I ever have a bay daughter, I'm going to name her Mercury. I have no f**king clue what I'd name it if it were a boy. Optimus Prime perhaps.


Schat... how do you even pronounce that?

rhymes with the english word "hut" and uses a nederlands "gi"
sounds a bit like "slut" actually, except replace with "L" with [Yy+Hh+Kh]

Male: Ambrose, Gunnar
Female: Zoe, Mercedes, Charlotte, or Violet.
My girlfrines wants to name any future daughter(s) Everest for some reason...


it's Dutch. You probably couldn't pronounce it.

...and neither could anyone else.
Does nobody think this through? Would you really have your daughter suffer through a life where every time roll gets called in a new class, the teacher pauses awkwardly before her name? Or, a life where people call her "Skat" or, worse "Shat" for the rest of her life?
That's potential child trauma, if I ever saw it. You are all socially retarded.

Male: Ambrose, Gunnar
Female: Zoe, Mercedes, Charlotte, or Violet.
My girlfrines wants to name any future daughter(s) Everest for some reason...

f**k, meant "girlfriend"

Girl:
-Sadie
Boy:
-Not sure, but definitely Sadie for a girl.
I'll probably never get married and have kids though.


Nope, I have a penis.
I've met people named Hope before, it's not THAT far out. Anyway, my name is John. I know, literally, dozens of people named John. If I ever have a kid I want them to not experience the confusion of having 6 people with the same name as you in one room. And I just like the way it sounds for some dumb reason.
I've heard stupider names before. I know a guy named Ulysses. Another kid I know is name Royal Highness.
I could do much worse then Hope.

I've never met a John in person.


rhymes with the english word "hut" and uses a nederlands "gi"
sounds a bit like "slut" actually, except replace with "L" with [Yy+Hh+Kh]

i love how you jump into accusations and calling me a mindless idiot right away.
i wouldn't name my daughter Schat if i lived in an english country


i love how you jump into accusations and calling me a mindless idiot right away.
i wouldn't name my daughter Schat if i lived in an english country

uh, oops. this was directed at

...and neither could anyone else.
Does nobody think this through? Would you really have your daughter suffer through a life where every time roll gets called in a new class, the teacher pauses awkwardly before her name? Or, a life where people call her "Skat" or, worse "Shat" for the rest of her life?
That's potential child trauma, if I ever saw it. You are all socially retarded.

sephirino, not from fa**ot fanasy, it was my grandpas name.

Male: Cedric
Female: Not really sure

Oh man I've been meaning to make a name thread
Rayne, rain, Molly, Dafny (havn't decided on spelling that one), Dagny, Tulip, Sky, Claire, Tommy, Paul, Taylor, Paige (nice idea OP, I like it), Skyler (had a friend named skyler a few years back).
I'm a bit of a hippy when it comes to names I think.
Molly is my favorite girls name I think though.

male : Palatino
female : Helvetica


uh, oops. this was directed at

So, the rest of your potential names are anglicized (also, mainly greek origin), then when someone asks how to pronounce the random name, you say "You probably couldn't pronounce it."
Forgive me if that screams "pretentious hipster f**."

Boy: Sebastian, Casper
Girl: No clue, but I like Paige AND Chloe, thanks for the ideas OP


So, the rest of your potential names are anglicized (also, mainly greek origin), then when someone asks how to pronounce the random name, you say "You probably couldn't pronounce it."
Forgive me if that screams "pretentious hipster f**."

i didn't JUST say you couldn't pronounce it. I also said it was Dutch. Did i mean it rudely / snottily? No.
chill. and stop thinking you know everything at first sight.


OMG I guess everyone should names there kid James then, just to be safe.

f**k off, that's my name

I want to have a boy and name him Remy... But my boyfriend wants a daughter to name Remy after a friend of his.
Goddammit, Remy is a boy's name, I don't care how nice your chick friend is. >: [


i didn't JUST say you couldn't pronounce it. I also said it was Dutch. Did i mean it rudely / snottily? No.
chill. and stop thinking you know everything at first sight.

...once you stop being a pretentious hipster f**.

Boy:Lucifer
Girl: Lanfear

boy: mingus/ schuyler
girl: brooklyn/ lucinda / schuyler
dont even try to hate on them, it is not doable

Holy f**k. Thankfully none of you will have sex and reproduce. F**king maniacs.

My name is Jesus Arias (Honduras) and planning to keep the mythological theme with my children.
Males
Aries Arias - kind of matches with the last name
Chronos Arias - I hope he doesnt become some f** in his teen years and gives himself the nickname "Crow"
Females
Gaia Arias
Athena
Hera
Hyppolita
Need more names, doesn't have to be greek myth and should complement my last name.

i know a girl named Paige shes a giant wh**re do you really want a giant wh**re daughter?

I like Gavin. It is underused

A few hair trimming visits ago I told my hairdresser I was naming my kid after her, Chenoa. Then She asked me what I would do if it was a boy. I told her it would be like A Boy named Sue, except a boy named Chenoa.
A couple weeks later I brought it up with my mom for lulz because she said I talk about my hairdresser very often (you would too if your hair was as awesome as mine). I told her the name means bird of peace and she fell in love with it. I also told her I'd name my son that (lolnotreally) she then said, because the name is so unique, nobody would actually know the difference. She justified it by saying that many Hebrew and eastern European male names end in "a." She was completely serious.
I lol'd.
Then I actually contemplated naming my son that.
But in the end, I highly doubt I'll ever have kids.
Even though Chenoa is a cool name.

My name is Jesus Arias (Honduras) and planning to keep the mythological theme with my children.
Males
Aries Arias - kind of matches with the last name
Chronos Arias - I hope he doesnt become some f** in his teen years and gives himself the nickname "Crow"
Females
Gaia Arias
Athena
Hera
Hyppolita
Need more names, doesn't have to be greek myth and should complement my last name.

Dude are you like from honduras?

those are some great suburban kid names there. They'll be as white as a slice of wonder bread.

My name is Jesus Arias (Honduras) and planning to keep the mythological theme with my children.
Males
Aries Arias - kind of matches with the last name
Chronos Arias - I hope he doesnt become some f** in his teen years and gives himself the nickname "Crow"
Females
Gaia Arias
Athena
Hera
Hyppolita
Need more names, doesn't have to be greek myth and should complement my last name.

Telemachus was here, your names are pu**y f**-sh*t.
But really, if I ever breed, and its a male, he shall be named Telemachus.

My name is Jesus Arias (Honduras) and planning to keep the mythological theme with my children.
Males
Aries Arias - kind of matches with the last name
Chronos Arias - I hope he doesnt become some f** in his teen years and gives himself the nickname "Crow"
Females
Gaia Arias
Athena
Hera
Hyppolita
Need more names, doesn't have to be greek myth and should complement my last name.

arias, huh? make lots of sons, because...
"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Arias, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!"

Zeden is cool. Sidney is girly.
Paige is common, Cytherea sounds like a sexually transmitted disease.

My girlfriend's name is Paige. I love it.


Dude are you like from honduras?

Yes.

arias, huh? make lots of sons, because...
"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Arias, there was an age undreamed of. And onto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!"

Sh*t that sounds badass, source?


Yes.
Sh*t that sounds badass, source?

Im from honduras too. I think you are the only hondurean i've seen in this page.


Im from honduras too. I think you are the only hondurean i've seen in this page.

Got any cool myhological names for me fellpw catracho?

Cytherea is annoying because it is 4 syllables, what would you shorten that to?

F**KING SCYTHER THAT'S WHAT


I've never met a John in person.

I find that really, really, hard to believe. I have 4 people named John in my family alone.


Got any cool myhological names for me fellpw catracho?

Carlos Pavon because hes a god of football

I'd name my son Edwald and my daughter Gonorrhea

These names, f**kola. . .
Oh jesus christ your are a bunch of new age douche bag fa**ots admittedly planning on raising more new age douche bag fa**ots.
F**king hipsters, i hope you're infertile.


I'm guessing you're a female.
You should know, if you marry a real man, he is going to name your children.
:-)
And only a dumb, stuck up, entitled, disney watching bitch would name her kid hope.
Why not just name my kid honor or courage?
It's f**king stupid.
A child is not a f**king trophy for you to bestow cutesy names and sh*t on. It's a living, breathing person, and you really shouldn't give it a name fit for a f**king poodle (hope).
HOPEfully your child doesn't have a dumb ass name...though it probably will.
Just name her Emily or Sarah. It's boring as f**k, but better than being a retard named Hope or Leslie.

>And only a dumb, stuck up, entitled, disney watching bitch would name her kid hope.
i love how pure web can be sometimes. thanks anon.


...once you stop being a pretentious hipster f**.

what if he is dutch?


what if he is dutch?

two things:
The dutch are sh*t and he probably is American with a dutch background which makes it completely f**king stupid.

These names, f**kola. . .
Oh jesus christ your are a bunch of new age douche bag fa**ots admittedly planning on raising more new age douche bag fa**ots.
F**king hipsters, i hope you're infertile.

These names sound more mallgoth than hipster to me.

Hmm. I like Luke, Zach, and Jason.

Felix for a boy, Isabel for a girl.
Though I'm in love with the name Phineas for a boy and Arya for a girl, I would probably never name a kid either of those.
Though if by chance I ever have twin boys, they're getting named Phineas and Murphy. I don't even give a f**k.


two things:
The dutch are sh*t and he probably is American with a dutch background which makes it completely f**king stupid.

oh i get it, you're impersonating a complete f**king idiot

Christ I thought the names people are giving their kids today are pretty bad. You guys sure know how to push the limits of child naming.
I'm naming my kids Link and Zelda, regardless of gender.

Felix for a boy, Isabel for a girl.
Though I'm in love with the name Phineas for a boy and Arya for a girl, I would probably never name a kid either of those.
Though if by chance I ever have twin boys, they're getting named Phineas and Murphy. I don't even give a f**k.

fat neckbeard aspie twins with yaoi body pillows? sure, name them "Phineas and Murphy"

No comments:

Post a Comment