Tuesday, September 7, 2010

What would you change about your past?

If you could change one thing about your past let me know what it was?
Me:
I'd run away from home, I wouldn't let myself get abused like a fa**ot. I'd tell somebody.
I'd go to a home, and my life would be much better, I'd go to school and get good grades, and everything would be better. I would probably be in university by now. :)




I'd be kinder to others around me and refrain from using audacity as a poor disguise for my insecurity.

I wouldn't f**k that wh**re amanda, f**ked me up bro. She cheated one me D:

I bet you didn't get abused. I bet you just had parents who knew how to discipline you, but your a pu**y who can't take responsibility for your life and blame it on your upbringing instead.

-> gets raped by fosterparents after running away from getting molested a home

I'd be kinder to others around me and refrain from using audacity as a poor disguise for my insecurity.

That instantly makes me feel quite bad about you, I want to give you a hug :(

I WOULD CHANGE NOTHING
I AM WHAT I AM

I bet you didn't get abused. I bet you just had parents who knew how to discipline you, but your a pu**y who can't take responsibility for your life and blame it on your upbringing instead.

I could give you countless details, I've posted them on anonymous already, I was failed as child. The people I should of trusted failed me. I'm sorry that doesn't conform to your liberal/polticial view, but unfortunately, it's true.

Generally runaways don't live the wonderful, successful lives you're imagining. In fact, one of the reasons people have trouble running away from legitimately abusive lives is because of how much life sucks for runaways.

-I wouldn't have dropped out of high school.
-I would've lost weight sooner.
-I would keep my mouth shut that night she told me her fears about our relationship and just say "it's ok." If only I'd known of the right words, I could've held on to her heart.

I wouldn't let my girlfriend's father kick the sh*t out of her, put her in hospital, and cause a miscarriage. I might have come out half sane, had that not happened.


I could give you countless details, I've posted them on anonymous already, I was failed as child. The people I should of trusted failed me. I'm sorry that doesn't conform to your liberal/polticial view, but unfortunately, it's true.

It's a shame, I'm almost at drunk mode where I'd reveal it, but I think I'm going to bed unless you're here in the next 5 minutes haha, not that any of this matters to anybody..


I could give you countless details, I've posted them on anonymous already, I was failed as child. The people I should of trusted failed me. I'm sorry that doesn't conform to your liberal/polticial view, but unfortunately, it's true.

So no more details?
I'm sure you're just begging for somebody to ask you, so you can tell us all about it. Kind of like when people put comments like "I guess I'll post..." in camwh**re threads, but more serious.


I could give you countless details, I've posted them on anonymous already, I was failed as child. The people I should of trusted failed me. I'm sorry that doesn't conform to your liberal/polticial view, but unfortunately, it's true.

He's posted them FAR too many times on here. Cheese and Onion is the gay dude whose parents don't approve. OH LAWDY HE HAS IT SO BAYAYAYAAD


So no more details?
I'm sure you're just begging for somebody to ask you, so you can tell us all about it. Kind of like when people put comments like "I guess I'll post..." in camwh**re threads, but more serious.

Sigh, let me see if I can find my notepad...


He's posted them FAR too many times on here. Cheese and Onion is the gay dude whose parents don't approve. OH LAWDY HE HAS IT SO BAYAYAYAAD

I thought as much.
That dud's girlfriend was insane and cut herself, her dad beat her and was generally f**king crazy had problems.

Just one thing? Hrm, I guess I wouldn't have allowed myself to become so distracted by my sister's stepdaughter. I was young and horny and used my three year advantage (and obvious favor in family and social circles) to do some horrible things to her seemingly without any punishment. This ranged from simple intimidation and bullying to more sexual activity later. That, or I would've come clean when I was more or less caught with my pants down and hand in the cookie jar. Either way, I may have been properly reprimanded and not have ruined any chance of any sort of friendship or such with her.

I'd get bitten by a radioactive animal and develop superpowers.


Sigh, let me see if I can find my notepad...


FLASH
Take your shirt off he shouted.
I dont want to I shouted back defiantly.
The man walked over menacingly looking at me with wide eyes filled with rage, raising his fist he unleashed it upon my face powerfully. Seeing it coming down I whimpered hoping that deep down inside of him somewhere there was a human being.
As his fist connected with my face I heard a crunch and saw purple and blue in one eye. I closed my eyes and cowered on the floor hugging myself.
Bye Bye Miss American Pie I sang quietly trying to escape from the situation, that was the song mum used to sing.
I looked up at him and saw his face change. He looked down at me worried and reached out his hand to me. I unfolded my arm and reached up to take it leaving myself vulnerable. Snatching his hand away he delivered a kick to my open ribs.
FLASH
This ones just for me, now take off your f**king clothes unless you want more He said grinning. I reached down to my trousers and slowly started undoing them. He jumped towards me and snatched them down along with my underpants.
And the f**king shirt he said grinning.
I looked up at him and slowly pulled the shirt over my head while I heard the familiar chuckle of him as he took more pictures.
FLASH
You know Ive always hated kids like you, do you want to know whyThey are a pain in the ass, always needing something. Spoilt. Little. C**t. Thats what you are He said.
Do you know what the word c**t means? He whispered whilst getting closer to me and stroking my face. I shook my head and looked up into his cold eyes.
Its a name God made up for evil people. Evil dirty horrible people. Do you know what c**ts do? They tell people whats happened to them and make everybody feel bad. Do you know what happens to you if you make people feel bad ANON? You burn in hell as a punishment he whispered into my ear.



FLASH
Take your shirt off he shouted.
I dont want to I shouted back defiantly.
The man walked over menacingly looking at me with wide eyes filled with rage, raising his fist he unleashed it upon my face powerfully. Seeing it coming down I whimpered hoping that deep down inside of him somewhere there was a human being.
As his fist connected with my face I heard a crunch and saw purple and blue in one eye. I closed my eyes and cowered on the floor hugging myself.
Bye Bye Miss American Pie I sang quietly trying to escape from the situation, that was the song mum used to sing.
I looked up at him and saw his face change. He looked down at me worried and reached out his hand to me. I unfolded my arm and reached up to take it leaving myself vulnerable. Snatching his hand away he delivered a kick to my open ribs.
FLASH
This ones just for me, now take off your f**king clothes unless you want more He said grinning. I reached down to my trousers and slowly started undoing them. He jumped towards me and snatched them down along with my underpants.
And the f**king shirt he said grinning.
I looked up at him and slowly pulled the shirt over my head while I heard the familiar chuckle of him as he took more pictures.
FLASH
You know Ive always hated kids like you, do you want to know whyThey are a pain in the ass, always needing something. Spoilt. Little. C**t. Thats what you are He said.
Do you know what the word c**t means? He whispered whilst getting closer to me and stroking my face. I shook my head and looked up into his cold eyes.
Its a name God made up for evil people. Evil dirty horrible people. Do you know what c**ts do? They tell people whats happened to them and make everybody feel bad. Do you know what happens to you if you make people feel bad ANON? You burn in hell as a punishment he whispered into my ear.

So why do you always make me feel bad? I said looking up to him shivering from the cold. He looked down shocked at me and grabbed me by the throat.
You listen here I dont make you feel bad. If you did what I said you wouldnt get hurt he said.
Putting his entire weight upon me he pushed his hand onto the back of my head pushing me against the cold floor. I heard him move around and make sounds, suddenly something was rammed in my mouth, it took me a while to realize that it was sock.
My stomach heaved and I spat it out in disgust, but it was rammed back in with force as he swiftly struck me on the back of my head.
I assume he put it in my mouth to stop anybody hearing me scream, it never really made sense until I grew up.

I'd get serious sooner in life and be well employed by the age of sixteen. Preferably I'd have sent out at least five manuscripts to various publishers by the time I get to my current age again, even if they were all rejected, because god damn at least I'd know.
Alternatively: there was the cutest girl with short black hair and seriously grabby hands who was all over me in high school. If I hadn't been such a pu**y back then and actually kissed her, I probably wouldn't still be a virgin today.


So why do you always make me feel bad? I said looking up to him shivering from the cold. He looked down shocked at me and grabbed me by the throat.
You listen here I dont make you feel bad. If you did what I said you wouldnt get hurt he said.
Putting his entire weight upon me he pushed his hand onto the back of my head pushing me against the cold floor. I heard him move around and make sounds, suddenly something was rammed in my mouth, it took me a while to realize that it was sock.
My stomach heaved and I spat it out in disgust, but it was rammed back in with force as he swiftly struck me on the back of my head.
I assume he put it in my mouth to stop anybody hearing me scream, it never really made sense until I grew up.

Was it really necessary to type that all out in narrative format? I mean, honestly. That's not only tl;dr, but also remarkably pretentious. Don't wave your sorrows around online like they're a badge of honour.

i wouldnt of set my friends house on fire...

Either I'd be less of a f**koff during high school, or I'd man up and tell that guy I liked him. Leaning towards the second :/

I'd get serious sooner in life and be well employed by the age of sixteen. Preferably I'd have sent out at least five manuscripts to various publishers by the time I get to my current age again, even if they were all rejected, because god damn at least I'd know.
Alternatively: there was the cutest girl with short black hair and seriously grabby hands who was all over me in high school. If I hadn't been such a pu**y back then and actually kissed her, I probably wouldn't still be a virgin today.
I'd get serious sooner in life and be well employed by the age of sixteen. Preferably I'd have sent out at least five manuscripts to various publishers by the time I get to my current age again, even if they were all rejected, because god damn at least I'd know.
Alternatively: there was the cutest girl with short black hair and seriously grabby hands who was all over me in high school. If I hadn't been such a pu**y back then and actually kissed her, I probably wouldn't still be a virgin today.

He pulled down my trousers and entered me. I just lay there on the floor paralyzed with fear doing nothing, I should of done something. I should of done anything. I tried to scream but I couldnt.
I just lay there on the floor with this fat pig taking away my innocence with each push, and tears streaming down my face from the pain.
This continued for what seemed like forever, but I guess it didt seem long for him as he could never have enough.
Finally after an eternity I heard his deep voice groan and I felt something drip down my legs, He pushed me back onto the floor and took the sock out of my mouth, turning me over he grinned at me and chuckled wasnt that bad was it?.
He put the sock back on his foot and left the room, I was still in shock at what happened.. when he came back he was a completely different person, he had orange juice and biscuits.
He told me what a nice kid I was and how Id grow up and my mum and dad would be so proud of me. I didnt understand anything really. I just remember going upstairs to the toilet and putting my fingers down towards my legs and looking at them.
All that was there was a mixture of semen and blood. Looking down at my hand is one of the most vivid memories I have. This is the first time Ive wrote about this in graphic detail, I feel dirty and horrible and disgusting.
I shouldnt, but I do.
Still trying to catch my breath I heard a loud bang from downstairs, and another. He was climbing the stairs and it was getting closer and louder. Getting up I pushed my head to the wooden door and tried to get a look at him through the crack in the door.

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